Wednesday, January 24, 2007

C-Webb's 1st Detroit Intro.

Terrible video. I took it with my dinky little digital camera.
But a lot of you weren't lucky enough to see it.

No Magnet?

WTF, Joe? Duck Tape is soooo last year. How do I remember the date, without a magnet?
Soup-er Bowl party this year hosted by the Super Bowel Movement



Be at my house on Super Bowl Sunday and eat drink and be merry.
Bring the Wife and the kids

Monday, January 22, 2007

You sound like crap

Get your finger out of your ass.
My teeth hurt like a whore on a Sunday after visiting the Cylon.

Please Translate these fun Phrases for Cash and Prizes (please, it's fun)
1 E komo mai! (Hawaiian)
2 Dareka eigo o hanasemasuka? (Japanese)
3 Tu aliento ole como los melocotones. (Spanish)
4 Mon fils est un gangster au sang-froid et j'ai besoin d'un câlin. (French)
5 Vietato l'accesso nel bar agli elefanti, dopo le otto. (Portguese)
6 AN DEN QELEIS NA PAS STO MAGAZI, KWSTA, STEILE TO SKULO. (Greek)
7 Se tem mesmo que cortar as unhas dos pés, faça o favor de deixar a cozinha. (Italian)
8 Noem je dat een broodje ham? Neem dat weg onmiddelijk! (Dutch)
9 Pig Farmer kills 26 in Canada (Canadian)
10 Var finns offentlig toalett? (Swedish)

Have a nice day.
Disturbing picture of the day

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Let's say......

For example, I was working and I screwed up and I kept screwing up and I kept admitting it.
Should I be allowed to continue to screw up my job, should I be fired, or should I do the noble thing and step aside so someone could fix my oopsies.
What if my oopsies involved getting a few thousand people killed?

RECALL BUSH

I don't even know that we could recall him, but I'd like to

Thursday, January 11, 2007

It has been a long time since I did this

My New Years Resolution is not working. I am not blogging well oreven often.
I have lost 4 lbs this year though.

For the record, I am against sending 20,000-30,000 more people to die so Iraq can be exactly as it was last month.

Here is a link to a picture of a naked woman sitting in the dark.

Here is a link to a picture of someone almost naked.

And finally a picture of someone topless

watch this in your spare time

Bonus Link: Not safe for work, unless you work in a really cool office

Sunday, January 07, 2007

BHFFL Play-Offs Part 3

How does a kicker miss a 23 yard kick? How does the second leading rusher rush for 32 yards (How does a coach only run LJ, the workhorse, only 13 times!?!?)
How does Romo fumble that snap?

After 1 week, in the BHFFL playoffs, here is the lowdown...
Poker Dawgs 100
Super Bowel Movement -5.5 (Stupid LJ, Tynes and Darrell Jackson)
Charleston Beasties -10.5
Dirty Diapers -28
Luke SkyAuger All-Stars -33
Ronnie Ray Guns -34

Major Eliminations:
Poker Dawgs - Marion Barber, Patrick Crayton (not that major)
Movement - Larry Johnson, Plaxico Burress
Beasties - Tiki, Cotchery, Kennison, Shockey, Both QB's, Both Defenses
Diapers - Julius Jones, Leon Washington, Laverneous Coles, Terrell Owens, Gonzo
All Stars - Terry Glenn, Cedric Houston
Ray Guns - Eli, Pennigton, Whitten

Major Gains:
Dawgs - The Chargers except a WR and a K
Movement - A kicker, Deuce, Jamal Lewis
Beasties - nobody
Diapers - Brees, Heap
AllStars - Ravens D
Ray Guns - Reggie Bush, Grossman, Thomas Jones

This all adds up to a Victory for the Poker Dawgs. I guess I don't mind being second.

BHFFL Play-offs Part 2

Clearly I don't know what I'm talking about.
Take whatever I said and reverse it (except for the All-Stars, they only have 6 points)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

BHFFL Play-Offs

Ok, I know Bolash is waiting for another email so he can figure out why he’s getting more emails from me. But he's gonna have to read the blog.
Based on my quick calculations [(Pi + 3r – 5)*2]
Here is how I see the BHFFL Play-offs after Round I - Part I:

SBM: The starting WR corps are one of the mostest giantest movements ever. However the front 3 of Manning, LJ and Addai should prove to be not-so-bad. As long as the K and D play, the SBM should break the 100 point mark. Too bad both RB’s won’t make it to Round I – part II.

DD: To bad the Diapers don’t have FaBrees this week. They could use them. Although, the rest of the team ain’t too stinky. Harrison and TO should pack a wallop at WR, The Diapers desperately need Lavern Coles to not-be-a-wimpy-girl. I see the RB’s being a bit of a weakness, if the Pats can stop Leon.

Charleston Beasties: Tiki Barber is a pretty good RB, but I don't think the Giants should be in the play-offs. The Beasties have a pretty good team, I should know, I helped draft 'em so I will rank them 3rd in the first round. Romo, Dillon, Barber, Branch and Kennison make this team pretty above average for the playoffs.

Poker Dawgs: More like the poker puppies this week. The big guns are on the bench, and when you've got LT's 30 points collecting dust, it's difficult to hit 90 points. This week isn't the week of the Dog. Next week should be a different story. Expect the Dawgs to hit 75 but I don't think much more

RRG: The Ronnies had a bad keeper bunch and since there is only 1/12 of the talent available in the playoff draft, it's hard to overcome. What if Lil' Manning has a bad day? There's always next week for this team also. 74 points for the Ray Guns. More like 90 next week.

SkyAuger All-Stars. Oh my, poor Luke. His daddy ain't Aniken. Without the dark side of the force, there is no way this team can score enough to crack the top 4. When I looked at his keepers, I cried for him. Good luk Luke.

Everybody wish Joe good luck in Vegas.