Tropical Storm Chris

It's odd seeing your (my) name in the news a whole bunch. It's especially odd when taken out of context. (See this article from Reuters about TS Chris) (or this oil price article from the Washington Post)(Houston Chronical note on TS Chris)

Quotes from the above articles that made me feel all funny inside

(for differing reasons)

"Chris has formed near the Leeward Islands in the Caribbean." Untrue! I was formed in my mommies belly!
"Chris, with maximum sustained winds of 40 mph (64 kph), was about 135 miles east of Antigua at 8 a.m." Um, there is no way I can pass wind for a sustained amount of time, especially if I'm 135 miles east of land (aka in the water).
"Chris was moving to the west-northwest at about 9 mph" pretty slow for sustained winds of 40mph coming out of my butt.
"Stacy Stewart writes: MY FEELING NOW IS THAT CHRIS SHOULD REMAIN A SIGNIFICANT TROPICAL CYCLONE THROUGHOUT THE 120-H FORECAST PERIOD" Why is she yelling about me? And, I thought we were talking about hurricanes here...
"Certainly it's too early to get too worried about Chris, but there's a slim to moderate chance it makes it into the Gulf of Mexico by this weekend." All of the sudden, I'm an it, huh? Typical!
"the Hurricane Hunter that just flew into Chris found 50 mph winds at the surface, indicating that the storm is strengthening." Ouch, Quit it! I wondered what ran into me an hour ago.

I'm such a loser.