Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Recycling: Not just for tree huggers anymore - aka the birds and the bees knees

Physical signs to tell if a woman really reached her peak:
Stage one:
The inner two thirds of her vagina swells and becomes darker during arousal, and her clitoris becomes more erect.
Stage two: Her nipples become erect, breasts more sensitive to touch.
Stage three: Her body demands more oxygen as she becomes aroused, which means her breathing rate quickens.
Stage four: Blood pressure rises as her climax approaches. Watch out for a pinking in the cheeks, neck and chest.
Stage five: The orgasm itself is marked by rhythmic muscle contractions in the outer third of the vagina and also the anus. The first few contractions are the strongest, and kick in every few seconds.

Girls fake it
I made a comment to someone today, and she said "Girls fake it all of the time." So I said to myself, "Fucker, do you think they do for real?"

Did you know that a "simple brain scan can spot whether a woman is faking an orgasm or not"? I don't have this simple brain-scanning equipment in my bedroom, so that's not going to work for me. Feel free to read all about how the The University of Groningen orgasm experiment on 13 heterosexual couples aged 19-49 turned out.

If I can't scan a woman's brain, how will I be able to tell? Let me ask a woman. Hold on...

Firstly, I have discovered it is tough to get an answer from a woman. Secondly, it's even tougher to get an answer on this subject. Thirdly, if you expect an answer from a woman, expect to answer, why you want an answer about 6 times. Then expect denial. Then give up.

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