Some things you don't have any control over

did you know.....

2010-02-03T20:35:00.002-05:00

FACEBOOK STATISTICS
Average User Figures
Average user has 130 friends on the site
Average user sends 8 friend requests per month
Average user spends more than 55 minutes per day on Facebook
Average user clicks the Like button on 9 pieces of content each month
Average user writes 25 comments on Facebook content each month
Average user becomes a fan of 2 Pages each month
Average user is invited to 3 events per month
Average user is a member of 12 groups

Mobile
There are more than 65 million active users currently accessing Facebook through their mobile devices.
People that use Facebook on their mobile devices are almost 50% more active on Facebook than non-mobile users.

did you know...

2010-02-01T19:14:00.002-05:00

That a white dude was the dude who came up with the idea for Taco Bell...

Even more interesting was that he was like super-smart.

Read this ... http://www.tacobell.com/glenbell/recipesForSuccess.html

Did you know ...

2010-01-31T15:28:00.003-05:00

Did you know?...
The Eiffel Tower in Paris weighs over 1000 elephants.
http://www.area51newmexico.com/page8.php

The U.S. Department of Agriculture pays cash to exporters as bonuses, allowing them to sell certain U.S. dairy products at prices lower than the exporter's costs of acquiring them.
http://www.fas.usda.gov/excredits/deip/deip-new.asp

The first commercial text message was sent in December 1992
http://dotsub.com/view/22c19ed0-949b-4ea4-8a99-a5506f9b8e2d

China will soon become the largest ENGLISH speaking country in the world.
https://umconnect.umn.edu/didyouknow/

A TV screen shows 24 pictures a second. Because a fly sees 200 images a second, it would see TV as still pictures with darkness in between.
http://www.einsteinyear.org/facts/physicsFacts/

Israel's Ramat Gan Safari park has become the world's top exporter of hippos. In the last few months, 14 of the huge 3.5 ton animals have been transported to zoos and safari parks abroad.
http://www.israel21c.org/didyouknow/didyouknow

title

2009-10-06T19:33:00.002-04:00

gbvgbugybyb

The Streak is over (or it will be soon)!

2009-09-18T13:02:00.009-04:00

It's Futile
Any polydactyl cat with a computer, an Internet Connection and a Blogger Account can spout off predictions of doom and gloom, but who else is going to boldly go where only 3 other (possibly, tremendously insane) people have dared to go?
Throughout history futility has run rampant. The Republicans and the Democrats haven't agreed about taxes, spending, and ... well … everything, since approximately 1854, the Temple Owls College Football team hasn't beaten the Penn State Nitney Lions since 1941 (68 years,) the Pittsburgh Pirates (MLB) have had not had a winning season since 1992 (that's right, 17 seasons,) and my Nanna hasn't made a Banana Cream Pie since 1974 (I'm guessing on this one.)

The butt
All of these futile attempts at non-futility have 1 thing in common... they all are seemingly, waaaayyy more futile than attempts to win an NFL game by the Detroit Lions. The Lions haven't had a winning season since 2000 and who haven't won a game in their last 18 attempts (all right, so not that Waaaayyyyy more futile, but maybe somewhat?)

The Detroit Lions have been butt of many jokes over the last 2 (err... 22 err... a lot of) seasons...
(the classic) ...
Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super bowl ring?
A. A thief.
(the oh-that’s-soooo-2008) ...
Q. Why was Matt Millen upset when the Detroit Lions’ playbook was stolen?
A. Because he hadn’t finished coloring it.
(the new)...
"I set my TiVo to record "The Biggest Loser," and I got the Lions game." Jay Leno (9/14/2009)

*Please add Detroit Lions jokes at your leisure in the comment section.

Facts that totally don't support my much anticipated (and potentially life changing) conclusion
* Since November 5, 2007 the Detroit Lions have won a total of exactly 1 stinkin game(s). (This is also known, around some parts, as the… 1 win and 25 loss-awesome-ungoodness sprinkled with sprinkles!)
* The Lions have not won a play-off game since 1991
* The Lions have never been to a Super Bowl and haven't won a Championship since 1957 (51 seasons)
* In the last 26 games, the Lions have scored 448 points (which isn't all that shabby) but -and it's a big but - have had been scored on a total of 865 points (closely related to letting your hairy aunt kiss you on the lips after dinner)
[note: providing that my addition skills aren't as bad as the Lions Defense (has been)]

The results of the last 26 games (I would say played, but let's go with dressed for) - Note: for amusement purposes only

Detroit Lions 2007 (partial) results
Denver	07-44	Arizona	21-31
NY Giants	10-16	Green Bay	26-37
Minnesota	10-42	Dallas	27-28
San Diego	14-51	Kansas City	*25-20*
Green Bay	13-34
Detroit Lions 2008 results
Atlanta	21-34	Green Bay	25-48
San Fran	13-31	Chicago	07-34
Minnesota	10-12	Houston	21-28
Washington	17-25	Chicago	23-27
Jacksonville	14-38	Carolina	22-31
Tampa Bay	20-38	Tennessee	10-47
Minnesota	16-20	Indianapolis	21-31
New Orleans	07-42	Green Bay	21-31

Detroit Lions 2009 (partial) results
New Orleans	27-45

The curse of Bobby Lane
"Bobby Layne never lost a game, he just ran out of time" (who knows who said it, someone did so I’m using it.) In 1958 (right after the last championship - if you’ll notice) the Lions traded the Hall-of-fame QB to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Bobby became Bobby the big bitter booby and has been quoted as saying that Detroit "would not win for 50 years." (He was pretty spot-on.) 50 years have come and gone with narry a championship. Sunday, September 20th begins the turnaround. The day that will go down in history. The day that will live in infamey as the day the young Savior QB, in only his 2nd game, started his team on the path to glory (or maybe it will go down as the only win of the season, it's too early to tell.)

What, what, what?
So they're gonna win. They, being the Lions... they will beat the Vikings on Sunday (9/20). The Run Defense isn't going to be the Lions problem like the vulgar display of flatulance last Sunday. Traditionally, when the Lions play the Saints, they spend too much time on Bourbon Street and not enough time preparing for the game. So I'm counting last week’s performance as an aberration.

The Lions have had a relatively decent defense against AD (Adrian “All Day” Peterson) who has only rushed for 116, 105 and 111 in his previous 3 matches with the Lions. Pretty impressive for the likes of TJ Duckett or Skip Hicks but for Mr. Peterson, that is horrifying, disgusting and downright yucky and will in no way give the old man (Favre) and the rest of the Vikings a chance at victory. Favre is older than me and I just spent the summer in bed because my spinal discs have dried up and become brittle... I'm not saying the Favre is brittle, I'm saying he's almost 40, he likes pickles and he'll throw, at the bare minimum, 3 INT's to seal the Lions victory.

So here's the kicker, well... wwait, Jason Hanson is the Kicker, and this isn't Hanson... um... OK, so here's a bit of video from the Late show with David Letterman. Anyone know Jim Gaffigan? He loves bacon... and wood. I digress... This clip aired right after the 2009 NFL draft. Pay close attention to #8.
Letterman's Top 10 as read by a QB
Sunday, he will be that hero.

Now if only Barry Sanders would just come out of retirement.

If I'm wrong, maybe they should try something such as this...

Throwing Babies from a 50 foot Temple

Thanks Google (UK)...

2009-09-15T12:36:00.001-04:00

Did you know...

...users are 1.5 times more attentive when browsing YouTube than when watching TV?

at least according to Motorola (with Mindshare) and GM, partnered with YouTube, December 2008

Yes... Yes I Can!

2009-09-14T16:36:00.003-04:00

Dear Crazy psycho friend of mine,

I will be happy and excited to earn a living blogging with you provided that I don't have to wear tinfoil like I make my children do.

What the heck happened on the way to the dance?

2009-09-10T12:53:00.002-04:00

I got lost in a Reese's and now I don't know where I am. I think my Pal Scott has lost his marbles and will begin to wear tinfoil pretty soon. But I'll still think he's the coolest totally short guy I know. He uses too many big words for me to finish reading his posts though so perhaps he might right the ship by the end of the story...? Perhaps I'll never know.

Anyone know why my blog has lost it's banner? I guess I'll have to look into it. For now, you just deal with it and I'll start writing a book.

I'll publish my book and you'll buy it. Deal?

Thanks,

Sir Stirs a Bunch

IF Scott can do it I can do it too

2009-07-23T17:59:00.002-04:00

I need to return to this whole blogging thing. I need to do it in stages though. Baby steps.

2 things I need to say...
I can't believe that cycling is on television. I wonder how many people watch it. Would it be on tv if there were no Lance Armstrong?

#2 I am looking for a 1989 Dodge Shadow to purchase. If you have one leave a comment or send an email (only if it runs)

I have a bird in the Oven

2008-12-02T20:53:00.001-05:00

Actually, I have some ice cream on the counter and it doesn't taste like a bird.

Wow, I can blog and Facebook at the same time!

2008-12-02T17:28:00.001-05:00

Way to multi-task, Chris!

FYI:
I'm not having a baby, I'm just fat.

Pipes & RSS in Blogspot

2008-08-06T19:21:00.005-04:00

No, not crack pipes.... Yahoo! Pipes.
I can now easily aggregate my favorite RSS feeds and filter them in one easy (and convienient) package and into blogspot.
Notice the Fantasy Football headlines to the right?
I created the pipes (kind of like an application) then created the RSS feed from the aggregated and filtered data, then used a RSS to javascript tool to further reduce the RSS feed to headlines.

Wanna know the steps?
1. visit Yahoo! Pipes (login to Yahoo!)
2. build pipes (here is my sample for the fantasy football pipes app)
3. run the pipe and click the RSS more options tag (under "use this pipe")
4. find a good rss to javascript maker I used Feed2JS and RSS to JavaScript
5. plug in your feed info.
6. copy the CSS between your blogspot [style][/style] tags in the template
7. copy the generated javascript into the [body] of your template in the desired place.

Simple as making an apple pie.

Feel free to notice my outrage

2008-08-05T21:46:00.002-04:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/05/AR2008080502493.html?hpid=topnews

Stop funding IRAQ's reconstruction

2008-08-05T11:54:00.001-04:00

Today is August 5, 2008. I wish Governor Gramholm would bring federal computer jobs to Michigan.

Today I will work for a few hours then go home. I think I need more of a challenge at work (anyone know of any good jobs in MI that pay well, offer good benefits and a challenge?)

My apologies for not returning any facebook email and/or LinkedIn requests over the last 2 weeks. I will try to get to them this week. I have to fix a leak in the pool tonight. I’m also going to try and vote. Although the only thing I know that I need to vote on is the stupid zoo proposal that’s going to cost me $20 bucks a year or $7. I can’t decide. Either way, I already pay for a zoo membership, so maybe I should get some kind of a discount. I just decided that I don’t believe in keeping having caged animals, so I’m voting no. I think I’d rather spend $4000 to go to Africa and see the Lions and Tigers on a safari (way cooler than Huntington Woods).
Hasta la vista, baby…

wo wo wo

2008-07-23T13:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,
Today is July 23, 2008. I wish Governor Gramholm would bring new jobs to Michigan.
Today I will work for a few hours then go home and pack for vacation. I have my clothes on the floor, ready for the suitcase. I still haven’t packed the other useful stuff up. I am way behind. I will try to remember to pack the tent in the rear of the van and the stuff that goes in the tent behind it. I vow to be smart tonight.
We are leaving in the morning. Early in the morning. Earlier than when I usually go to work. Tomorrow morning will suck donkey kongs.
This just in - A Greek court has dismissed a request by residents of the island of Lesbos to ban the use of the word lesbian to describe gay women.
I’m pretty sure if the court would have granted that request, I would have ignored it.
If you aren’t on facebook, join today. I will be putting the photos of the trip up as I can.
Happy Trails

no title today

2008-07-22T13:02:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,
Today is Tuesday, July 22, 2008. My plan for today is to perform the following functions:
Work: Details too mundane to mention.
Go to Costco on the way home & buy a few giant things.
Carry suitcases from the basement to the bedroom and put some of my clothes in one of them.
Go to my Dad’s house, fix his computer.
Make a CD of music for the vacation traveling (song 1: “He is not Dead Yet.”)
Download the memory card for the video camera so that I will have clear memory cards for the vacation.
Glue Velcro to the bottom of a couple of cups.
Investigate the possibility of a small table in the minivan.
Try to see some of the Tigers Game.

I have a weight loss goal: Lose the weight of a small Japanese Woman.

Go Go Gadget Toenails….

Don't tell me this wasn't intentional...

2008-06-16T17:07:00.002-04:00

So, check out the ESPN.com RSS Feed.

What I want to know is...

Who did it, and how hard did he have to yank that thing to injure his foot?

Tornado!

2008-06-08T20:02:00.004-04:00

Or something that sucks like a tornado. For me anyway

That is the giant Costco play fort made from cedar that the kids used to play on. It's a little broken and has been condemned by the authorities (I'm the authorities). If you look closely, you'll see some mesh and some red foam. That's a trampoline.

It's the new trampoline we bought at the end of May. (This picture is taken from the neighbor's backyard)
The trampoline used to sit to the right of the play fort (in our yard). It was a nice trampoline. The kids really liked it.

In case your wondering... only one of the 4x4 fence posts broke, so the fence is still in ok condition.

Hi Joe,

2008-05-27T18:49:00.002-04:00

Have a nice day.

I am going to start the Wii Fit Journal soon.

Wii Fit is going to make me skinny, like a rail.

Who doesn't love to relive a good goalie fight?

2008-04-30T12:15:00.001-04:00

It's humppy day and therefore ... Old Joke Wednesday

2008-04-16T22:07:00.002-04:00

today's theme... old boob jokes (what else would you expect?)

What kind of a Bee gives milk?
A Boo Bee.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support soon people are going to think we’re nuts!

What do model train sets and women’s breasts have in common?
Both are intended for children, but it’s the fathers that always end up playing with them.

The Nissan boob commercial

Master of nothing, and I don't know Jack about Bob

2008-04-11T19:18:00.003-04:00

What a silly title for a post about Aortic Heart Valves...

According to the Cleveland Clinic (coincidently not founded by Cleveland Shown to the right, ) the aortic heart valve lets blood into and keeps blood out of the heart. Somehow this ebb and flow of blood keeps the human being alive by circulating the blood. I hear that if the heart valves fail to keep the blood in the heart while at the same time letting blood leak out, you got a problem.

Some really smart people have probably had heart valves replaced. Some stoopid people probably have too. The problem with starting this paragraph is that there was almost no way to verify a. that there are people who have had this surgery and b. that those that did had any sort of intelligence be it above or below normal.

Rumor has it that Dave Edmunds (semi-famous guitar player) who has recorded music that I've likely never heard has had aortic valve replacement surgery.

This kind of famous guy also had the surgery. I think he's the governor of kaliforna.

He looks happy. I think the picture might have been taken close to 12 minutes after the surgery...

Until you read again... LATE!

While you were sleeping (and not reading my blog)

2008-04-10T22:34:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time I wrote about Rita Johnston (the alleged accidental baby killer).
Well, my tiny little post has gotten some attention from people claiming to have intimate knowledge of the situation.

I wish I had something witty to say, but I don't. It is just a very sad story from all angles.

Rita Johnston pled guilty to involuntary manslaughter and doesn't have to go to jail. The Judge felt sorry for her and gave her 3 years of probation and some community service.

For my two cents, Patrick Sr. has every right to be pissed about the sentence. I sure would be. I think my suggested sentence was death by hot car in the summer sun, and I stick by it.

So anyway, if you get a chance, read the comments, they are very telling of different sides of the story. If only I could get the real Rita Johnston to leave some comments and tell her side...
Stay tuned...

The HA is back.

2008-04-09T17:01:00.002-04:00

I am going fishing.
I have joined Facebook. You should join facebook.
In honor of the HA Writer, I am going to create Fishbook. I think it will be succesful.
Here is my idea...
Fisher-people join and subsequently go fishing.
If they are better fisherpeople than I, ,they will catch fish.

Then... they photograph the fish and post their experiences on fishbook along with the photos.

This idea is for sale, contact me through the comments section if you desire to purchase the idea (for a small fee)

Go Tigers!

Do ewe no wat the devel I am riteing?

2008-03-30T21:54:00.002-04:00

Spelling is hard work

The Educational Portion of the Week...

2008-03-29T14:33:00.002-04:00

This post brought to you by the letter D
D is downright dandy. The letter D starts many words.
Dog, Double, Dummy, Dig-Dug, Dukesfest 2008, DD, and DD's

That's too much work. Clic on the links for fun.

Batman is going to be at Dukesfest this year, I probably will be too.

This is a Dork (and a dumb-ass movie)

Which Batman is better?

2008-03-28T23:25:00.003-04:00

Which one is better?
Adam West: The TV Bat?
Michael Keaton: The 1989 Movie Bat
Christian Bale: The 2005 Movie Batman

You can't even vote for the other 2 fake bats. I won't allow it.

Visit this You Tube-y for a cool 1966/2008 Batman mashup trailer

I think I like watching the Fairly Odd Parents

2008-03-20T19:28:00.005-04:00

The Fairly Odd Parents Is a (very entertaining) cartoon on Nickelodeon. My kids like watching Timmy Turner and Wanda & Cosmo (right, their Favorite) and Vicky (the evil Babysitter) I get a kick out of Jorgen Von Strangle (left). If you can read Spanish real well, visit this blog post about Los Padrinos Magicos, it seems to in favor of the show as well.

I think you should watch the show when you get a chance. I think you will like it. In fact, I guarantee it. If you don't like it, let me know and I will refund your money.

PMOG

2008-03-18T18:49:00.003-04:00

So I stumbled upon this thing where one kind of plays a game but kind of doesn't while surfing the web and trying to work. It's called PMOG. http://pmog.com/. I don't know if I like it yet or not. If you want an invite send me an email or leave a comment. So that's pretty much it for that.
Just wanted to also say that I didn't actually stumble upon it so much as I read about it on Wired. You can read about PMOG on Wired too if you click it

Also, I have finished another class on my path to complete Information Assurance knowledge that nobody seems to want to leverage. If you want a knowledgeable dude on your staff who knows a lot about a lot of stuff but is stuck writing code then send me an email through the comments.

Reporter opens mouth

2008-01-31T22:32:00.000-05:00

And as usual, poop eventually comes out

BTW, yea I know it's fake

Only for the BHFFL

2007-12-30T15:09:00.000-05:00

Baby Jesus prayer

2007-12-13T20:07:00.001-05:00

Couldn't help myself...

Heat Miser & Snow Miser Video

2007-12-13T19:54:00.001-05:00

I'm still not officially back, but here's something to keep you busy

POST 243

2007-10-11T22:49:00.000-04:00

REMOVE ALL REFERENCES TO ME FROM YOUR MIND!

THE ALIENS ARE GOING TO INVADE TOM CRUISE'S SHELTER AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

<-/^\->

I call this the screw you Republican Pig section of our program

2007-10-03T19:48:00.001-04:00

And to think I once voted for this guy. I've learned my lesson. I apologize formally to all who didn't.
Boob vetoed a bill that he knew almost nothing about and the boob-etts blindly praise him (kinda like the boob governor of MI wants the idiots of MI to do with her, although nobody's buying that boobs' crap)

NPR (fairly respected among boobs, anti-boobs, and the other sided boobs) wrote up a good piece on how much of a boob, Boob is.

See this here story of how one boob can't get his SCHIP facts straight

DUDE, I'm here to tell you that I am completely fed up with politicians, especially Boob and Gov. Boob.

------------------------

Someone once said this guy was Satan, I agreed, now I see he has made one good point...
In a super-duper-crazy-monkey long Television Broadcast Hugo "Satan-in-the-Flesh" Chavez made a good point.

I'm almost back!

2007-10-01T22:21:00.000-04:00

Keep watching this space for important updates.
My uvula is not swollen today.

My Hero

2007-09-06T18:09:00.000-04:00

Federal Judge Victor Marrero
http://news.wired.com/dynamic/stories/P/PATRIOT_ACT_LAWSUIT?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Soon I will be back. Be patient. School is beating me with somebody's bloody amputated femur.

PS. Congrats Joe and Kristi

Welcome Back

2007-08-21T20:44:00.000-04:00

Some headlines from today's News

2007-08-13T20:21:00.000-04:00

Bush's brain goes missing as Karl Rove retires
Bush's brain drain
End of ‘Bush’s brain’ will bring down the curtain on lame-duck President
Op-Ed: Bush's Brain is Leaving the Building
Farewell, Turd Blossom
'Bush's brain' heads for the exit
Bush's Brain to Exit White House
Now the president's brain really is missing ...

I see a pattern...

I predict a perfectly Lion-Like season for the Lions

2007-08-09T21:51:00.000-04:00

5 - 11

that's right, the offense is better than last year, but the Defense can't stink that bad and still win.

Have a nice day

Errrrrr..... Never Mind

2007-08-03T08:48:00.000-04:00

All it takes is a little effort on my part for someone to make me look silly...

Lions Sign First-Round Draft Pick WR Calvin Johnson

Now if only they could get him on the field and away from the building.

Oh, and you can still fire Millen

Donde Esta Calvin Johnson?

2007-08-03T00:31:00.001-04:00

Not in Allen Park, MI at Lions Training Camp.

Not in Carmen, San Diego.

Not in my basement.

Not at my Mom's House.

Not at the neighbor's BBQ.

FIRE MILLEN '07 Part II

Top Fantasy Football RB's Ranked

2007-07-31T17:40:00.000-04:00

I am officially starting my career as a fantasy football guru.

1. Tough one here... LT
2. Steven Jackson... just because LJ has a horrible surrounding cast and SA may have a broken foot problem
3. Shaun Alexander... why not? He's pretty darn good. Better than you with a broken foot, you big dummy
4. Larry Johnson... Could be a Lion, if only Millen would have taken my advice and skipped Charles Rogers. Perhaps he could be #2 in this list, but the Chiefs are stinky
5. Joseph Addai...He's good. I like him. I don't have a better reason
6. Reggie Bush ... I believe that he will be more featured than not this year
7. Brian Westbrook ... Provided he's healthy
8. Rudy Johnson ... It gets tough here. He's the only guy in Cincy, so he rates better than most
9. Willie Parker ... Another only option. Not my favorite
10. Frank Gore ... I'm not sold
11. Ronnie Brown ... Being the only option is tough.
12. Willis McGahee
13. Clinton Portis
14. Brandon Jacobs
15. Jamal Lewis
16. Thomas Jones
17. Tatum Bell
18. Larry Maroney
19. Cadillac Williams
20. M Jones-Drew
21. Yo Momma

Feel the Burn... Life in Hell (Stupid Lions are killing everybody)

2007-07-27T22:16:00.000-04:00

Todd Boyd gets it.

Todd Boyd feels my agony, anxiety, depression, and disgust.

Who's Todd Boyd?

(He works for ESPN.com)

Read this (it's about the stinky, stupid, awful, putrid Lions)

Then Look at the picture below and weep...

Spider Pig, Spider Pig does whatever a spider Pig does.

2007-07-22T19:37:00.000-04:00

This is a compilation of the first 36 results of a google image search of the title of this post.
My favorite is Ted, followed closly by the twins and the "twins" (if you know what I mean)
Anyway, nary a mention of spiders or pigs. Isn't mass marketing grrrrrrrrrrrrreatt!?
Later I will look for some other way to waste 10 minutes rather than reading something useful.

Time for a new cell phone

2007-07-18T21:15:00.000-04:00

Got any ideas?
iPhone is too expensive
Samsung SGH-P850 is not available from any US Carrier.
Samsung Black Carbon is not available from any US Carrier.
Samsung Ultra is not available from any US Carrier.

Nokia N95 is the coolest phone ever, but too expensive.
(see the Nokia N95 here or Nokia's Site)

How I've done...

2007-07-16T20:54:00.000-04:00

My predictions made Dec 31, 2006...
The Detroit Tigers, Toronto Blue Jays, Milwaukee Brewers, San Francisco Giants, New York Mets, and Oakland A's will finish 1st in their respective Divisions.The Tigers defeat the Wild Card Padres in the 2007 World Series.

The results So far...
Tigers, Mets & Brewers are in 1st in their Divisions and the Giants, A's & Blue Jays aren't. The Padres are the current Wild Card leader in the NL. So as I see it, I'm 4-3 thats 57%.

PS. I hate being only slightly better than 50/50

Rita Johnston needs to be locked in a hot car until she

2007-07-06T19:40:00.000-04:00

DIES!

OROFINO, Idaho -- Rita Johnston has been arrested on charges of involuntary manslaughter and felony injury to a child after a 15-month-old boy was found dead in a locked car.

The County Prosecutor, Clayne Tyler, said the child was in the car for about five hours when someone noticed him and called authorities.

Did I mention that she's 33? And it was her step-Grandson?

"Johnston said she had forgotten about the infant in her vehicle and at some point fell asleep inside the residence," according to a probable cause affidavit. "Johnston said when she woke up she still did not remember that there was a child in her vehicle."

Is that too harsh of a sentence?

225 Long & Short Blog posts about almost nothing!

2007-07-05T22:09:00.000-04:00

It's not a world record, but it might be close. Please join this guy in congratulating me on making it to post #225.

This is really all that I have to add today.

I feel like poo. I have a headache. My left foot hurts. My ears never stop ringing. I have chronic sinusitis. I'm 40% blind without glasses. I have carpel tunnel.

The good news is I have really low cholesterol.

How do I keep my cholesterol so low? Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Bacardi Silver, Lo-Carb Monster, Plenty of red meat, and ice cream.

Turns out that combination is bad for my blood pressure though. I'm almost hypertensive. Some Doctors call it pre-hypertensive, but I don't like how that sounds.

So here is a picture of healthy set of lungs, and Mr. T.

Is it in you?

2007-07-04T20:28:00.000-04:00

Happy Independance Day!

I am not a yankee doodle dandy.

But I do like a good piece of candy.

But not some sasafrass.

That stuff tastes like sausage.

The definitive answer to "Who plays Richardson on Deadwood?"

2007-07-02T19:05:00.000-04:00

The answer is Ralph Richeson.

The man himself sent me a few photos of what he looks like whilst not being Richardson.

I'd be willing to bet, that if he were to shave the beard and get a haircut, you wouldn't recognize him.

If you are a casting agent, hire him, I'd like to see him in a role other than Ricardson.

Just a few roles I think he might be good in without changing a thing...

The villain in a Scooby Doo movie

A Viet Nam vet both then and now

President George W. Bush w/ a Beard (sorry Ralph)

A performance Artist (but not like this crazy freak).

Hi. It's Sunday and I'm sorta doing homework, but I have a headache and I don't feel compelled to do any more homework

2007-07-01T15:25:00.000-04:00

Longest title ever, eh?

This is a disgusting photo of some dude vomiting all projectile-like. I was looking through some of my old posts, and found that link. It was too-funny to keep to myself.

To the right is a picture of the "Official Redneck Tailgate."

It's a pallet, bungee-corded to the truck bed.

So cool, I had to take a photo.

Turns out, I'm only sick in the head (probably)

2007-06-28T22:25:00.000-04:00

Seems that it might be a rather icky staph infection and, although contagious, not easy to get. The Staph infection is usually found in hospitals but is becoming more and more prevalent outside the hospital and in the community.

It's called MRSA aka the superbug aka Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus. Something you'd rather not have, but generally not fatal. WebMD says this rather interesting bit of nothing...
"Community-associated MRSA infections usually affect the skin, causing pimples and boils in otherwise healthy people. Infected areas may be red, swollen, painful, and have pus or other drainage." (Full article on the SuperBug here)

There seems to be a forum for this MSRA disease

Maggots are useful ...

I might be infected

2007-06-27T21:02:00.000-04:00

I might not be. Who knows. All I know is that I had to attend an emergency meeting today and in that meeting I learned that someone I know (maybe) might be sick, possibly very sick, maybe not sick at all. Whomever that someone is might be contagious, might not be, might be, but maybe not. Nobody will say.
What could it be?

Bubonic Plague?

Here are my top 10 guesses as to the disease du jour ...

10. Ebola Virus
9. Typhoid Fever
8. Leprosy
7. Japanese Encephalitis
6. Pott Disease
5. Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS)
4. Smallpox
3. West Nile Encephalitis
2. African Trypanosomiasis (Sleeping Sickness)
1. Cholera

Anything Interesting today?

2007-06-26T20:50:00.001-04:00

No Hits? Visit with the 2006 roy at the Mall on Thursday.

Ever see someone Disembowel a fish? Me either.
Got Beer? I do.

Pregnant? Don't know who the father is? Ask Jesus.

Do all of he stupid WWE Wrestlers still think Chris Benoit is still great? Hope not.

Who killed Vince McMahon? Nobody will ever know.

Is Pedro a dirty word? Doubt it.

What has 6 legs and infest the hair in the pubic area? Crabs.

What has 10 legs and lives in the sea? Crabs.

Which type of crabs taste better? I don't have any idea.

What can go wrong? Your legs could fall off.

Who farted? I think it was the dog. Might have been me though.

What a Boob!

2007-06-25T21:37:00.001-04:00

Boobs come in all shapes and sizes.

This guy needed a Manzier and he needed to stop putting tatoos of the Dukes of Hazzard on himself.

I'll give you a $1 if you can name the 2 dudes on the right, and why does Daisy look so f'd up?

And, what's with all the brown spots?

More info on Fumarase deficiency

2007-06-18T18:59:00.000-04:00

Fumarase Deficiency: Things I've learned...

Fumarase Deficient people...
... may not be able to convert Fumaric Acid into Malic Acid which can lead to lowered amounts of energy which can result in severe physical and mental disabilities.

... may have reduced Levels of consciousness (sedation/somnolence)

... may have Microcephaly (Small Head) and/or Micrencephaly (Small Brain)
(To the right is a picture of a woman from Pakistan with Micrencephaly)

... may suffer from seizures

... may have raised levels of Ammonia in their blood (Hyperammonaemia)

... may suffer from decreased muscle tone aka, hypotonia (from Medline Plus) (Photo right)

Fumarate hydratase, or fumarase, is an enzymatic component of the tricarboxylic acid, or Krebs cycle. It catalyzes the conversion of fumarate to malate OMIM (John's Hopkins University).

Fumarase deficiency (<- You will have to figure out this part yourself.)

Interesting Photo from the collection at Syracuse University (that I can't post without paying a fee.

Naked Ladies

2007-06-17T21:00:00.000-04:00

Shameless blog title, for shameless blog.

look here for a real cool picture of a naked lady.

I had to "Paint" the naughty parts

Don't scroll down if you are at work.

also, don't look down if you are opposed to boobies

also, don't scroll down if you don't want to see a perfectly good pair of boobies ruined.

Don't scroll down if you are offended by knockers with spray paint on them.

Still reading? You must really want to see boobies

Seriously, if you keep scrolling down, you will be trhrown in jail or fired, or divorced.

Last warning. Below the next few lines is a pair of boobies, close up (nipple-less, however)

2 more lines until a naked chest appears

BOOBIES BELOW!

FINAL WARNING!

Leave it to the BBC to explain the Fatah v. Hamas Mess

2007-06-14T21:35:00.000-04:00

Rather than our Fair and Balanced friends telling us what to think, let's see what the real fair and balanced media has to say ...

BBC Link to Fatah & Hamas ... just the facts ma'am

Palestinian rivals: Fatah & Hamas
Two parties dominate Palestinian politics: Fatah which has been at the head of the Palestinian national movement since the 1950s, and the Islamist movement, Hamas, which won the parliamentary elections in January 2006.

One more class down, one more class to go...

2007-06-13T21:30:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it! 1 final class to go to finish my degree.
I will soon be a MASTER of Information Systems.

I will soon be rich and famous.

I'm something and people like me.

I like boobies

I want to be nicknamed Boobie Evatt

Holy Smokes, Batman!

Comcast Sucks and steals money from it's customers.

I am fat and I need to lose weight.

I have a lot of boogers in my nostrils

Green Boogers are a sign of infection.

They could also mean that you smelled some green food coloring.

Orange boogers are a sign of blood (and/or you stuck an orange in your nose)

Red boogers mean that you have a nose bleed or you have been sniffing Cherry Kool-Aid powder

Bookman is a sign of a good janitor.

Reading is fundamental

2007-06-08T21:16:00.000-04:00

RIF not WRIF rif does not equate to wrif.

ABE not WABE these aren't the same either.

Here is my hot A #1 stock tip of the year. Not guaranted to not miss or miss or even hit.

Buy GERN at $9.00 Sell at $55 in 10 months.

I own some and I have no clue or influence in the company. <-My Disclaimer

Don't go to the Flight Club

2007-06-05T22:18:00.000-04:00

The flight club is not a place where flying people go to gather for talking about flying.
That's all I can tell you.
Plus beer is real expensive. I hate when beer is very expensive.

On a side note...
I met Bo Duke and Enos over the weekend. They were both actually nice and personable.

Anybody wanna see some General Lee flying Video?

Dukesfest 2007

2007-06-04T21:15:00.000-04:00

We've returned from Nashville. I made it back alive and still had some (very little) cash left. I would have not had any, except we stayed out of the Nashville BYOB bars. More info and some actual event photos to follow.

13 Days since my last post

2007-05-23T19:03:00.000-04:00

It has also been 2 days since my last bm.
I was gonna write about toppless car washes and how cool it would be to work at one. But I don't want to anymore. I found a cool cause to rally behind, or in front of... TopFreedom (nsfw)
The Women of top freedom claim that breasts are not sexy, and that everyone should walk around topless if they want to.
None of these ladies should be able to walk around topless. <- Don't go there at work

ta ta for now

2 days in a row!

2007-05-10T19:26:00.000-04:00

Tinnitus sux!

After reading that, I think I want some Prozac.

And now for something that looks like a butt

I really have nothing to say today.

Buy me a present

If you found me looking for someone looking for a job, you found the right guy

2007-05-09T21:51:00.000-04:00

“Many companies just fill job openings… you must hire the best of breed in whatever field of IT you can find them. Go for the best athlete. You must bet on the universal skills of very bright people. If you look too narrowly to fill an immediate job need, you will likely get a person who has limited future value and can only be deployed on narrow assignments.” (James Champy, 3/2007)

Creativity, Imagination and foresight to connect business with technology to encourage continuous innovation.

I can't be tied down to a traditional horrible dead office job where creativity isn't allowed.
Please don't make me do it any more.

Don't keep watching this blog

2007-04-24T20:44:00.000-04:00

I am not updating it regularly. I am busy. My free time is being spent reading school books. I hate school books. I hate school. I hate Geoffrey Fieger, he's a doofus.
Nate is starting T-Ball games on Saturday.
There is no scoring, no winners and no losers.
But at least he's learning the game.

I will go on record and say that the Lions will draft stupid Brady Quinn on Saturday.

Way to go Millen. Grow a set and Draft Calvin Johnson.
or
Trade the pick to NE for their 2 first rounders.
or
Trade the pick to Denver for their 1st rounder and that Wilson fella.

Lesbian accused of chainsaw murder

2007-04-10T17:26:00.000-04:00

Wait...

There's more...

Not only was she a lesbian, she's deaf, and black.

She "allegedly" started up a chainsaw, which her soon-to-be-victim couldn't hear (also deaf), and sawed her up. Then burned her up.

She was spending too much time with her girlfriend.

Don't mess with the deaf, black lesbians.

See the rest of the lesbian killer story...

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley

2007-03-31T13:17:00.000-04:00

For all that are concerned, I don't need a job, as in I don't have one, but I need a job that doesn't bore me to tears. If I could stay where I am, and do something more to utulize my talents, I would. But that sounds impossible. So here I come _(fill in the blank with a cool company to work for)__
If you have a job for me. Let me know.

Otherwise, on with the show...

I need a Job

2007-03-28T19:28:00.000-04:00

Anyone have a job for a talented Systems Analyst & Developer with mad database skillz? I can do web design, usabilty studies, testing, and pretty much anything else you can dream up. I can lead a team of 5-15 with various skill sets. I can use project management skills. I can make good decisions, I am not afraid to take chances and I love a challenge. Information Security is tops on my list to conquer next. I intend to sit for the CISSP in the Fall (After I finish my Master's Degree in Information Technology, with an emphasis in Information Assurance). I'm really smart and I like to work and learn stuff. I currently am in posession of a 3.792 GPA for my Master's classes. I am an excellent researcher and I stay on top of new technologies. I have many years of experience in Information Technology like 11 or 12 or something like that. I am an OCA (Oracle Certified Associate) Developer and an IBM RPGLE certified something or other.

I really didn't want to have to look for a new job, but it seems that I have no choice now.

when monkeys fly out of my butt

2007-03-19T21:01:00.000-04:00

Grindhouse: The best ever Sexy Slasher Movie

2007-03-16T17:08:00.000-04:00

Am I the only one looking forward to this?
Man, I hope it's in IMAX!

Tarantino is a pretty fart smeller when it comes to making movies I want to see.

Wanna see a Trailer or 2 for Grindhouse?

<- I made this myself

I'm gonna bet, I want to get the Unrated Grindhouse DVD. From what I see from the trailers, there is no way these stories can be told in a theater as these 2 genius filmmakers wish it to be told.

I'm sick

2007-03-14T20:22:00.000-04:00

Cool Vomit Pictures

Chick Vomiting (and remembering to hold her hair back)

Nude Chick Vomiting

a lot of vomit

Fat chick vomiting

The ultimate GUNT, not a photo of vomiting, but it will induce vomiting.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

2007-03-11T21:32:00.000-04:00

Conway Twitty ...

Patroit Act Smatriot Act

2007-03-09T19:46:00.000-05:00

Who needs laws, rules, regulations, whatever? Not the FREAKING FBI! What the heck man?

You read the report. I will vomit if yo make me read it.

Can you imagine writing 200 pages on the abuses of the FBI on the use of Security Letters?

Sounds fun AND exciting.

I bet soon the FBI will soon tell us that there are weapons of mass distruction in Iran.

Anyone want to go to the DETROIT TIGERS opening day game? I might have one extra ticket.

Consumer Reports Skewers Detroit

2007-03-01T17:36:00.000-05:00

Consumer Reports Top Car Picks in 10 Categories:
Fun to drive - Mazda MX-5 Miata
Small SUV - Toyota RAV4
Small sedan - Honda Civic
Family sedan - Honda Accord
Minivan - Toyota Sienna
Luxury sedan - Infiniti M35
Midsized SUV - Toyota Highlander Hybrid
Budget cars - Honda Fit
Green car - Toyota Prius
Upscale sedan - Infiniti G35

I'm Glad I work for a Japanese Car Supplier.

Good Luck Van Blogger

Racist, or Not? You make the call...

2007-02-28T21:50:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day, loser!

2007-02-14T09:10:00.000-05:00

Well, it's Valentine's Day 2007. Today we recieved a lot of snow and school was cancelled and the whole reason I stayed home from work was cancelled so I could have gone to work, but I got up too late anyway, then I said to myself, "Don't go to work." So I didn't.

Here's a picture of fake boobies

(VERY OFFENSIVE NIPS REMOVED)

Go Here to purchase them:

I'll try to actually try to be witty some other time.

Dr. Jonas Mittelos

2007-02-08T21:45:00.000-05:00

An powerful yet crazy man once said, “I am proud to be working with such a talented team of scientists and researchers, who are working on such important projects. What we are doing will change the world. Some people want to be written into the history books, I want to ensure that there are people to read the history books.” This man was Dr. Jonas Mittelos, he created Mittelos Bioscience.

That is all a load of crap.

I just put that in my blog to get hits from crazy Lost fans.

<-- This is a picture of what your teeth will look like if you don't stop smoking meth

<-- Would you visit a dentist slightly a few days prior to your chicklets looking like this?

<-- Needs to floss more often?

Cool Toilet - One Sweet Ass Toilet. And Other Toilet Stuff

2007-02-08T21:31:00.000-05:00

Roto-Rooter is giving away a pool to "drop the kids off" in.

A nice place to "Drop the Chalupa"

A sweet "Pot to Piss in"

A $5,000 customized "Throne"
Some guy named Steven Pollyea says, "A toilet should be the most wonderful location in your home."

According to the World Toilet Organization, an average person visits the toilet 2500 times a year (roughly 7 times a day).

More cool toilet facts...

World Toilet Day takes place on 19 November each year
The first toilet paper was developed in England in 1880 and sold not on a roll, but as individual sheets in a box
Arthur Giblin was the inventor of the first flushable toilet
The average toilet is flushed eight times a day
We use an average of 57 sheets of toilet paper a day!

Do you smell BBQ?

2007-02-02T21:21:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite commercials. (I'm quite like a 7 year old)

Cool, a rocket sled!

I almost forgot to show you all my Automotion Video

2007-02-02T20:24:00.000-05:00

From my most recent visit to the Palace. A crummy video of a dance routine.

PS It's not as bad a video as YouTube streams it as, but it's not great either.

A post about...

2007-02-01T19:00:00.000-05:00

Boobies
I've done the research so you don't have to. (It's tough work, but one must suffer for Science)
(Don't click on any of these links at work)

Q: I'm worried about gaining too much weight, if I get implants, how much weight will I gain from my new boobies?
A: According to BreastImplants4You.com, the average volume breast implant is 450cc, after loads of math that will confuse your pretty little heads is completed, that's real, real close to 1 pound. If you get a matching set of implants, that's 2 pounds. Time to go on Atkins fatty!

Q: If I get implants will my boobies glow in the dark?
A: only if you stick a flashlight up to one (or both) of them. Wanna see a cool glowing boobie picture?

Q: What's does a nipple infection look like?
A: um, I'm no Doctor, but it might be time to see a Doctor if your nipple looks like this.

Q: My boobies are big should I get a reduction?
A: No, unless you have man-boobies that look like this, or girl-boobies like this.

Q: I'm looking for a "name that man-boobie" quiz, do you know of one?
A: No, but here is a link to a Name that man-breast quiz. (What else you got to do today?)

Q: Will I get the HIV if I play with breasts that aren't mine, and I'm a girl?
A: No, in fact it's good for you (provided that there's no HIV juice on them) Here's a nice photo that illustrates "how-to" play with someone else's boobies. (don't ask how I found this one)

More to come... (Hopefully, soon)

C-Webb's 1st Detroit Intro.

2007-01-24T19:18:00.000-05:00

Terrible video. I took it with my dinky little digital camera.
But a lot of you weren't lucky enough to see it.

No Magnet?

2007-01-24T18:06:00.000-05:00

WTF, Joe? Duck Tape is soooo last year. How do I remember the date, without a magnet?

Soup-er Bowl party this year hosted by the Super Bowel Movement

(Click here for a picture of a Super Bowel Movement)

Be at my house on Super Bowl Sunday and eat drink and be merry.
Bring the Wife and the kids

You sound like crap

2007-01-22T21:03:00.000-05:00

Get your finger out of your ass.
My teeth hurt like a whore on a Sunday after visiting the Cylon.

Please Translate these fun Phrases for Cash and Prizes (please, it's fun)
1 E komo mai! (Hawaiian)
2 Dareka eigo o hanasemasuka? (Japanese)
3 Tu aliento ole como los melocotones. (Spanish)
4 Mon fils est un gangster au sang-froid et j'ai besoin d'un câlin. (French)
5 Vietato l'accesso nel bar agli elefanti, dopo le otto. (Portguese)
6 AN DEN QELEIS NA PAS STO MAGAZI, KWSTA, STEILE TO SKULO. (Greek)
7 Se tem mesmo que cortar as unhas dos pés, faça o favor de deixar a cozinha. (Italian)
8 Noem je dat een broodje ham? Neem dat weg onmiddelijk! (Dutch)
9 Pig Farmer kills 26 in Canada (Canadian)
10 Var finns offentlig toalett? (Swedish)

Have a nice day.
Disturbing picture of the day

Let's say......

2007-01-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

For example, I was working and I screwed up and I kept screwing up and I kept admitting it.
Should I be allowed to continue to screw up my job, should I be fired, or should I do the noble thing and step aside so someone could fix my oopsies.
What if my oopsies involved getting a few thousand people killed?

RECALL BUSH

I don't even know that we could recall him, but I'd like to

It has been a long time since I did this

2007-01-11T20:57:00.000-05:00

My New Years Resolution is not working. I am not blogging well oreven often.
I have lost 4 lbs this year though.

For the record, I am against sending 20,000-30,000 more people to die so Iraq can be exactly as it was last month.

Here is a link to a picture of a naked woman sitting in the dark.

Here is a link to a picture of someone almost naked.

And finally a picture of someone topless

watch this in your spare time

Bonus Link: Not safe for work, unless you work in a really cool office

BHFFL Play-Offs Part 3

2007-01-07T20:07:00.000-05:00

How does a kicker miss a 23 yard kick? How does the second leading rusher rush for 32 yards (How does a coach only run LJ, the workhorse, only 13 times!?!?)
How does Romo fumble that snap?

After 1 week, in the BHFFL playoffs, here is the lowdown...
Poker Dawgs 100
Super Bowel Movement -5.5 (Stupid LJ, Tynes and Darrell Jackson)
Charleston Beasties -10.5
Dirty Diapers -28
Luke SkyAuger All-Stars -33
Ronnie Ray Guns -34

Major Eliminations:
Poker Dawgs - Marion Barber, Patrick Crayton (not that major)
Movement - Larry Johnson, Plaxico Burress
Beasties - Tiki, Cotchery, Kennison, Shockey, Both QB's, Both Defenses
Diapers - Julius Jones, Leon Washington, Laverneous Coles, Terrell Owens, Gonzo
All Stars - Terry Glenn, Cedric Houston
Ray Guns - Eli, Pennigton, Whitten

Major Gains:
Dawgs - The Chargers except a WR and a K
Movement - A kicker, Deuce, Jamal Lewis
Beasties - nobody
Diapers - Brees, Heap
AllStars - Ravens D
Ray Guns - Reggie Bush, Grossman, Thomas Jones

This all adds up to a Victory for the Poker Dawgs. I guess I don't mind being second.

BHFFL Play-offs Part 2

2007-01-07T08:19:00.000-05:00

Clearly I don't know what I'm talking about.
Take whatever I said and reverse it (except for the All-Stars, they only have 6 points)

BHFFL Play-Offs

2007-01-06T14:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know Bolash is waiting for another email so he can figure out why he’s getting more emails from me. But he's gonna have to read the blog.
Based on my quick calculations [(Pi + 3r – 5)*2]
Here is how I see the BHFFL Play-offs after Round I - Part I:

SBM: The starting WR corps are one of the mostest giantest movements ever. However the front 3 of Manning, LJ and Addai should prove to be not-so-bad. As long as the K and D play, the SBM should break the 100 point mark. Too bad both RB’s won’t make it to Round I – part II.

DD: To bad the Diapers don’t have FaBrees this week. They could use them. Although, the rest of the team ain’t too stinky. Harrison and TO should pack a wallop at WR, The Diapers desperately need Lavern Coles to not-be-a-wimpy-girl. I see the RB’s being a bit of a weakness, if the Pats can stop Leon.

Charleston Beasties: Tiki Barber is a pretty good RB, but I don't think the Giants should be in the play-offs. The Beasties have a pretty good team, I should know, I helped draft 'em so I will rank them 3rd in the first round. Romo, Dillon, Barber, Branch and Kennison make this team pretty above average for the playoffs.

Poker Dawgs: More like the poker puppies this week. The big guns are on the bench, and when you've got LT's 30 points collecting dust, it's difficult to hit 90 points. This week isn't the week of the Dog. Next week should be a different story. Expect the Dawgs to hit 75 but I don't think much more

RRG: The Ronnies had a bad keeper bunch and since there is only 1/12 of the talent available in the playoff draft, it's hard to overcome. What if Lil' Manning has a bad day? There's always next week for this team also. 74 points for the Ray Guns. More like 90 next week.

SkyAuger All-Stars. Oh my, poor Luke. His daddy ain't Aniken. Without the dark side of the force, there is no way this team can score enough to crack the top 4. When I looked at his keepers, I cried for him. Good luk Luke.

Everybody wish Joe good luck in Vegas.

The Lions are sooooooooo stupid

2006-12-31T16:22:00.000-05:00

I am so F-ING fed up with these pieces of crap.

How do you lose 13 games out of 15 and play good on the road in Dallas?

One game, just like the other 15, is all I ask for, then they get the 1st draft pick in 2007.

But they screwed that up too.

Congrats to Matt Millen for keeping his job.

Kitna still is stinky and Marinelli needs a new hip. Kitna will need a new hip soon, he's so dang old.

Can't wait... 240 days or so until kickoff.

Predictions for 2007 made in 2006 (12/30/06)

2006-12-30T20:25:00.000-05:00

Here are my predictions for 2007

The Detroit Tigers, Toronto Blue Jays, Milwaukee Brewers, San Francisco Giants, New York Mets, and Oakland A's will finish 1st in their respective Divisions.
The Tigers defeat the Wild Card Padres in the 2007 World Series.

The San Diego Chargers will defeat the Chicago Bears in the 2007 Super Bowl.

A huge Nor'easter will bury the Eastern Seaboard and shut the Nations Capital down in late January.

A huge Volcano in the Pacific will send a huge Tsunami toward Japan in late July which will flood a great portion of the SouthEast.

A big Earthquake will send San Francisco into a frenzy in September.

There will be many Hurricanes during June and July.

Mud Slides will happen in California.

There will be a drought in the Western US. Many fires will burn many acres of forests.

Toyota will sell more cars than GM.

President Bush will look like a boob.

I'm an evil Prick.

2006-12-22T19:33:00.000-05:00

Just so ya know.
I kept 3 Michigan families from enjoying their new Wii. Or maybe I kept 3 ebayers from profiting on Wii's. Either way, I worked hard for Wii1 and Wii3 (Wii2 was not hard)

So I bought 3 Wii's for like $750 + tax and sold 3 Wii's for $750 absolutly no profit. How is that possible? How did I not sell them for at least double that? I am a bad seller. Plus when you make profits on ebay, you need to declare that as income. That's pooey. So officially, I am telling the internet that I actually lost money selling Wii's. (Almost $900)

For my next trick, I'm going to turn iPods into chocolate dirty nipps.

What ever happened to Apap (aka the Filipino flap jacker, and/or Chocolate Dirty Nipps)?

I sure wish I would have just gone to the Hockey Game last Wednesday, it looked like it would have been a good game to attend.

And Now for Something Completly Different ...

And here is a picture of Boobies, well actually, only one booby is pictured.

Pooey Internet and Hong Kong Phooey

2006-12-21T08:26:00.000-05:00

I am officially not working until January 2, 2007. In these 12 days I will endevor to research elephantitis, discover which drug company is closest to curing cancer and start a campaign to overthrow the President of a small South American Nation in a bloodless coup.

First things first, however...

Today is Thursday and I predict it will snow on Christmas Day. I just checked weather.com and they predict 40 and mostly cloudy and a 20% chance of precipitation. We shall see who's right.

In other news, I know someone who is getting married to a baby. I can't really explain it, but one of them seem to think the other one is a hot baby. Kids these days, I'll tell ya.

Also, it's been a long time since I actually wrote anything in a blog. I will begin to pepper this thing relentlesly until 2007 at which point I will make a resolution to post more often and lose 80 lbs and write about it in my blog.

I will also write about chicks in bikinis and assorted topics that only I care about.

until then.... Here is a link to something disgusting. Please be cautious when opening this as it may turn your stomach... LINK

SBM still hearts Marshall Faulk

2006-12-06T19:33:00.000-05:00

One of the best ever

Too bad I couldn't keep both Faulk and LT

(Long Live LJ)

John Kitna meet my middle finger

2006-12-03T16:53:00.000-05:00

Stinky Stinky Stink Stink Stink!

YOU SUCK!

Throw another stupid interception, why dontcha?

Can't wait to see how much he sucks next week!

YeeeeeeeeHaaaaaawwwwwwwww!

Buy Lions stuff (Tax Free, unless Amazon.com has a presence in your location)

2006-12-01T18:24:00.000-05:00

http://www.gtbbtg.com/index.html

Shop for cool Lions stuff from my cool Lions store.
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(really)

Orthostatic intolerance & Greg Page

2006-11-30T21:43:00.000-05:00

The Wiggles Lead Wiggler, Greg Page, has retired. Due to a little known disorder, Orthostatic intolerance, he's had to end his career early. The disorder is little-understood, from what I can gather, that causes dizziness, fatigue and nausea.

What is Orthostatic Intolerance?
Standing upright results in a series of reflexive bodily responses, regulated by the Autonomic Nervous System, to compensate for the effect of gravity upon the distribution of blood. These conditions are a result of an inappropriate response to this change in body position.

The normal response for a change in body position, results in a stabilization to the upright position in approximately sixty seconds. During this process, the normal change in heart rate would include an increase in heart rate of 10 to 15 beats per minute, and an increase in diastolic pressure of 10 mm Hg, with only a slight change in systolic pressure.
For those who are afflicted with Orthostatic Intolerance, there is an excessive increase in heart rate upon standing, resulting in the cardiovascular system working harder to maintain blood pressure and blood flow to the brain. Thanks to http://www.ndrf.org/orthostat.htm

Why does this blog care?
Because the kids of this blog guy love the wiggles and will detest Sam Moran (the replacement Wiggle) just as we detested the replacement Blues Clues guy.

The Biggest Loser

2006-11-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

Is NOT me!

First of all, I'm F-ing FAT!
Second of all, I passed my OCA Cert exam today and I am officially a dork!
And I'm happy about it.

FYI:
OCA is NOT

Online Crash Analysis
or
Organization of Chinese Americans
or
Organic Consumers Association
or
Orthodox Church in America

It Is...

Oracle PL/SQL Developer Certified Associate